How I healed my broken heart

A breakup is all about yourself, not the other person.

I don't claim to be an expert on love. But my journey to healing in the last few months is one of God's greatest miracles in my life.

It's cheesy. But a heartache is NEVER easy.

Having said that, I believe I got this great advice from a friend on that fateful day:

"Whatever you do now, think of yourself. Don't put your love for that person in the equation. You are separate entities now." 

For a long time, I was in denial.

It's tough when you love a person so much that you forget yourself.  Big mistake.  In the end, you will lose not only a big part of who you are, but also the very person you depended on.

Life goes on.  

You hear so much about that crap. I'm pretty sure you've even given that advice once or twice to a brokenhearted friend. But when you're in that position?

WTH! Be prepared for lots of sleepless nights. Crying bouts, too.

You can't help but cry before you sleep, cry when you wake up, and cry even in your dreams!

You can't escape pain.

EXCEPT...

1. PRAY. 

God is the BEST FRIEND you can count on. Unload all of your burdens to him as many times as you want throughout the day. For heartache will catch you off guard, no matter how busy you are at work or even when you're having a good time with your friends. There will be moments, when you are quietly hurting even amidst a crowd.

Bottling up all those emotions is the hardest part for me. Many times, tears would fall down my face even against my will. You know, that kind of silent, heart-wrenching cry? Yup, no way around it. When the pain gets to you, you just PRAY HARDER. 

2. BE PROFESSIONAL. 

It's HARD to be good at anything else when your heart is breaking. It's EASY to succumb to depression.

But I believe that when you've reached the lowest point in your life, there's no other way but UP. Don't let one aspect destroy the rest of your life.

Space out if you must. Detach yourself from the situation. Think of it as an out of body experience or a robot taking over you for the meantime.

It also helps to take things ONE STEP AT A TIME.  Tell yourself to DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TODAY.  

When you're professional, you avoid things you'd only regret later on.

3. EXPLORE.  

Do the things you've always wanted to do, but had no time for, because your world revolved in that ONE PERSON. It's high time you realize that ME TIME is a must, whether or not you're in a relationship. It's that one enjoyable thing you do for yourself, not for anyone else.

Gym, for me, was that one thing. I've been wanting to go to the gym ever since I got invited to a one-day press experience at the Pinoy Biggest Loser camp with Coach Chinggay and Coach Jim. It's a big step for me since I was never the sporty type.   

Yoga. Zumba. Street dance. Body Combat. Pilates. Running.

Going to the gym is a life saver! Plus, you get to stay in shape, too!

Better spend your idle time in productive activities, rather than brood and drown in negativity.

4. GO OUT WITH YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

God loves me so much he gave me the best support system ever. During that difficult phase in my life, being surrounded with my best friends kept me sane. They instinctively knew when I need company, even when I'm trying to shut off the world. I am grateful for the nonstop dinners, sleepovers, and impromptu beach escapade that helped me chase my blues away.

I didn't want to worry my brothers. But every chance I got, spending time with them calmed my heart. FAMILY is the best thing ever! Next to God, they're the ones who can shower you with UNCONDITIONAL LOVE no one else can give you. 

I also enjoyed BONDING WITH THE BOYS at another impromptu beach trip. I joined my brother and three common friends. It was more of a FREEDOM TRIP for me. Booze at midday, junk food, (which I rarely binge on!), surf, skim, skate (I just watched! haha!). I haven't gone with them on their beach-skim trips for almost two years... It was great to just chill.

It was more than fun, really. As we talked about our dreams and ambitions,  here's what struck me the most:

"You'll find a way. No excuses."

That unexpected moment of clarity, that started to bring me out of the proverbial black hole... I found it there, swimming at the beach, staying afloat on a surf board (dunno how to surf, unfortunately)! ;)

5. RETREAT. 

Indeed, 2013 is a year of faith. I am forever grateful to another friend, who helped me strengthen my faith in God by inviting me to The Feast in Ortigas. It paved the way for me to attend a two-day retreat in Tagaytay.

While I believe that praying for God's grace of healing is possible anytime, anywhere, joining the retreat with that sole purpose in mind helped me recharge and regain a proper perspective in life.

Knowing that you share the same struggles with others (some way greater than yours could ever be) gives you a spark of hope. Because truly, you are not alone.

By God's grace, you will understand that things  happen for a reason. Maybe it won't be for long.

After all, a miracle doesn't necessarily have to be an earth-shattering moment. It's when you find the courage to get up and start all over again.

I told myself once: "I may be lost now. But I'll find my way home again."

Praise God. I already did. 

LET GO. LET GOD. 

Love beyond your heart

I love you more everyday

Somebody In My Life

Love, passion, desire

Is it possible to feel so much passion for the one you love?

That you just can’t get enough of him even when you’re together

If only you could freeze that moment

As you melt with his each caress of your skin

Drowning in endless kisses and burning desire to be possessed

By a deep rapture that only lovers could understand.

I want to stay in your arms for hours and hours

Breathing in your sweet innocent scent

Which lingers around me and catches me by surprise

Even in the middle of a noisy crowd

All those sleepless nights I lie awake

Just thinking and longing to see my beloved again.

Gone

Here you are

Appearing out of the blue

Didn’t expect to see

Tonight of all nights

Look at me

So happy and in love

Finally.

You know

I’ve waited so long

For this to happen.

I can see

That you miss me

It’s there in your eyes.

But I am sorry

I can’t be there for you

Anymore.

Lesson for today: Relationship 101

Love more. Give more. Do not be afraid of what tomorrow will bring. Don't hold back. For if you give your best in love, you will never have regrets nor what ifs afterwards. Don't worry whether or not you're getting enough love from him. It's more satisfying to know that you love with all your heart despite your past heartaches or your fears. Don't mind your love language. Don't hold on so much to words. Make room for changes. Nobody's perfect.

-August 15, 2011-

One sweet love

I knew I found love

The moment your lips touched mine

My heart skipped a beat

Telling me you’re the one

I’ve been waiting for all this time.

It was so easy for us to be friends

You tell me things no one else knows

While I wonder deep inside

What’s going on

I guess I’ve been loving you all along.

You complete me

In ways I never thought is possible

For better or for worse

I will be here for you

My one sweet love.

-August 11, 2011

I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

"You know how in life there's always something that just doesn't line up? Either you're working at the wrong job or dating the wrong guy or eating some bad meal? But right this second I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be. And I wanna thank all of you for making me feel that way." Hannah to Chuck, Elie and Devon (Chuck Season 3, Episode 7)

I sooo love this line! Thank God I've got someone who makes me feel the same. :)

Unbeliever

I've won your heart, what more could I wish for?
And yet there's a battle waging deep inside me
As I feel terrified of what tomorrow might bring
I can't imagine life without you anymore.
I know you're not going anywhere
But sometimes I feel like taking a step back
Or I unconsciously push you away
Just to get over this scary feeling I have.
Maybe because at the back of my mind
I feel like I don't deserve to be happy
And being with you my beloved
Is just too good to be true.

Love is The Power! :)

Just finished attending the First Friday Mass here at ABS-CBN's chapel. I was feeling out of sorts with all the stuff I have to accomplish today so that I could make it to my friends' meet-up in Makati before we head off to our Tagaytay escapade. I couldn't leave the office earlier as planned though since I have to cover an event later.

But thank God I heard today's gospel which is about the multiplication of loaves and fish during one of Jesus's preaching in Galilee. I love the priest's homily because it was about the true meaning of “eating” and “dining”. With the fast-paced lifestyle that we lead nowadays, he said that people often take for granted the need for conversation/interaction when dining either with your loved ones or in social functions.

He stressed that “eating” also means “sharing” especially in light of The Eucharist or The Last Supper where Jesus Christ broke the bread and shared pieces of it with his disciples. The whole act was made not only for the sake of eating but for sharing the good news about humanity’s salvation and the great mission that lies ahead of them.

He talked about keeping our hearts open to hear what others have to say and not just concentrate solely on filling our stomachs with food. Such is our tendency when we’re so busy we don’t have time to talk and enjoy the company of our friends and loved ones. In the same way that he encouraged us to keep our hands open to the needy for the more we give, the more we receive.

It was a very striking homily for me because the priest also shared his thoughts about faithful love and the modern couples' tendency to grow apart “para mag-kanya-kanya”; when the real essence of love in the context of marriage is staying committed to each other and being ready to give up anything for one’s partner.

And I realized, that is not martyrdom because love is made perfect with God at the center of any relationship. Whatever happens, whatever decision that you make, you just know that you’ll never go wrong. Because true love is never wrong. It’s so powerful that it actually covers all wrongs.

Indeed, such is the POWER of love. :)

You get what you give.

Vic Sotto on falling in love: "Mahirap naman yung todo. Kapag nadapa ka, masakit. Mabuti na yung lumalakad nang dahan-dahan. Kung matalisod ka, e, may katangahan ka na lang! Kung madapa ka, seriously, hindi masyadong masakit ang pagkakadapa."

I remember Vhong Navarro shares the same view in love! They have a point but I dunno if I should agree or not though. A friend once told me that if you only give 50% of yourself in anything you do, you don't get to enjoy the full benefits of that endeavor. In the same way that you are not fully happy when you hold back your feelings out of fear of rejection or heartache...It's scary I know. But I believe that love should always prevail. Everything else follows. :)

I don't wanna be scared...But I still am.

Love sometimes wants to do us a great favor: hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out.

Your love

Should never be offered to the mouth of a stranger,

Only to someone who has the valor and daring

To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife

Then weave them into a blanket

To protect you.

Stay close to any sounds that make you glad you are alive.

Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you.

I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in the darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.

There are different wells within your heart.

Some fill with each good rain,

Others are far too deep for that

Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.

Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me”

There is no pleasure without a tincture of bitterness. - Paolo Coelho

It's amazing how Coelho put into words the feelings and thoughts that people often have a hard time expressing to the one they love or even admitting to themselves. I was inspired from the moment that I read the first line of this entry in his blog, for it reminded me that THERE REALLY IS NO ROOM FOR PRIDE IN LOVE. I’ve seen many times how expectations, doubts and fears stop a person from showing someone how much he/she really means to him/her. Because the truth is, people can't help but expect to be loved in return. And it would be heartbreaking once the person finds out all his/her efforts were made in vain. But in the end, what really matters is that you live the present moment, say what you wanna say, do what you wanna do and be able to stand up for it no matter what the consequences. Just remember that you should know when to let go if it's time to move on or to stay in that person's life if he/she wants you to.

Yes, fear is the cheapest room in the house...

I don't wanna be scared...

But I still am.

I gotta keep breathing! ;)

Chuck Noland: We both had done the math. Kelly added it all up and... knew she had to let me go. I added it up, and knew that I had... lost her. 'cos I was never gonna get off that island. I was gonna die there, totally alone. I was gonna get sick, or get injured or something. The only choice I had, the only thing I could control was when, and how, and where it was going to happen. So... I made a rope and I went up to the summit, to hang myself. I had to test it, you know? Of course. You know me. And the weight of the log, snapped the limb of the tree, so I-I - , I couldn't even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over *nothing*. And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I'm back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass... And I've lost her all over again. I'm so sad that I don't have Kelly. But I'm so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring? (Cast Away, 2000)

I’m feeling sleepy and a little bored when I came across this excerpt while surfing the net for nothing in particular. Just you know, waiting for something exciting to happen in the middle of a slow and uneventful Wednesday afternoon. As I read the striking lines, which I put on bold above, I remember the simple truth about how good it is to be alive, to be able to breathe the air around you, no matter how polluted the city have become or how monotonous your daily routine is.

It’s so easy to take for granted the simple things that we should enjoy like taking a moment to look out the window of your office building and appreciate the harmony between God’s awe-inspiring creation and man’s ingenuity—the cityscape juxtaposed against the clear blue skies and rolling mountains beyond or the city lights and the twinkling stars at night. Such simple pleasures never fail to amaze me, most especially during the moments in your life when you want to give up the fight, surrender to your weakness and let darkness overcome you.

To lose hope is effortless. And so we are challenged every waking day to find a reason to believe that our lives are worth living. Whether good or bad, whatever circumstances we find ourselves in, remember that you are exactly where you are meant to be. Don’t rush and just enjoy the journey! J

Crazy much

Do I make you lie awake at night?

Wondering if you’ve thought of me just once

What keeps you busy and if you’ve eaten or not.

Do I make your heart ache with longing?

As I terribly miss your voice, your smile, your laugh

And even your silence amidst a happy crowd.

Do I make you smile when you think of me?

Our precious times together however brief

It never fails to make my heart skip a beat.

Do I make you crazy the way I am for you?

Tell me now, yes or no

Coz I don’t know what to do without you.

"If you truly find love, you find yourself"

I've read this excerpt from Deepak Chopra's book The Path To Love and I can't help but recall how I was recently taught a lesson about humility and respect. I guess I've been engrossed in my own little world at work and the external things that make me happy that I forget that life is not just about me and what I want. That I have to stop and take a closer look at the person I'm becoming. That I need to share more of myself to others especially those who need my compassion, understanding and cooperation.

The fact that I was taking for granted some things in my life brought confusion in me. And only when I finally faced my inner conflicts did it dawn on me that I have to re-examine my core values and how I will allign them to my priorities which will help me choose the path I should take. (Unfinished dwellings last December 19, 2010)

Magic Moments in Tagaytay & Enchanted Kingdom

The Christmas break was quickly over and I truly missed waking up at 3AM for the Misa De Gallo (9 mornings of novena mass), the anticipation of the Christmas celebration, the holiday cheer, the Christmas songs being played 24/7 at my office, the bazaars, the midnight mall shoppings. It was the busiest Christmas season for me since I had to meet deadlines for several writing jobs as well.

But then again

I also found time for my favorite Korean series DVD marathon. I swear I got lost in dreamland after watching It Started With A Kiss, Princess Hours and Down With Love (Tagalog versions). Ang gagwapo naman kasi ni Joe Cheng, Joo Ji Hoon and Jerry Yan! Kalurkey sila. I was out of my element by New Year's eve though because of my sore throat/dry cough. Totally lost my voice, skipped our house party and slept soon after the fireworks display stopped at our neighborhood. :s

On the second day of 2011, I was still not feeling well but my kuya convinced me to go to Tagaytay with a few of our Kamishitoo friends for a bit of fresh air and major bonding time before going back to work the next day. We went straight to Palace In The Sky (located at the highest peak of Mt. Gonzales), a perfect spot to take pictures overlooking Taal Lake. It was years since we last visited the ruins there and we were surprised that what used to be a neglected pool was now turned into a park of sorts.

The statue of the Holy Mother of Fair Love was also a great place to visit especially for devout Catholics since how it got there is in itself an awe-inspiring story. During the construction of Palace In The Sky in 1981, dynamite blasts failed to destroy a huge rock formation that was completely obstructing the view of what was supposed to be a dream house of the Marcoses. Turns out that it was housing the image of our Lady, Mother of Fair Love, which was originally built in 1975 by a group of high schoolers. Amazing huh?

We wanted to try the zip line in Picnic Grove but for some reason, one of us thought of going to Enchanted Kingdom instead. I've been to theme

parks before but I've never tried riding the roller coaster in my whole life. It's been in my bucket list for two years in a row, and I finally did it, twice! Love the adrenaline rush and the exhilarating feeling during that less than two-minute ride. I never closed my eyes even for a moment because I wanted to relish the whole experience. Just imagine how frustrating, talkative as I am, not to be able to shout on top of my lungs to release the tension. Yet I could still relive snapshots of that ride in my head. That’s how much I loved it!

The downside of it was that the queues were so long (esp. since it was a holiday weekend) that we only got to try three rides in all—Space Shuttle, Ferris Wheel and Anchor’s Away. We wanted to try Xtreme, but it was a mistake that we rode the Ferris Wheel first because we kinda got scared of heights. So it’s safe to say that Anchor’s Away was the most nerve-racking ride for me because for a second there I thought I was gonna be thrown away on its final and uppermost swing. But I’ll definitely try it again just for fun!

I tell you, I was exhausted and feeling sick by then. But as we headed back home, I knew that I simply had to return to the place where “magic continues”. For not only did it “feed” the child in me (As Paolo Coelho would say, the one who believes in magic moments), but it also made me believe in myself again. I conquered my fear of rollercoasters didn’t I? :)

25th in Bangkok

It’s been a month since I celebrated my birthday in Bangkok, but this is the first lazy Saturday that I woke up with no work in mind but only the sudden desire to forever remember my Bangkok trip by blogging about it.

I travelled with my friend Cloe, who if not for her persistence I won’t be taking that trip and skipping my usual birthday bash with my Kamishitoo friends altogether. My plans to buy myself a new camera was also thrown out the window. But on hindsight, it was the best decision I’ve ever made at the time.

Why? For one thing, I have been reading books like “Eat, Pray, Love”, “Brida”, “By The River Piedra I Sat Down & Wept” and “Out On A Limb” which all talked about seizing the moment, getting out of the box, finding oneself, & experiencing other cultures. Suffice it to say that I was also at the point where I wanted to grow up and discover new places MY WAY.

With our plane tickets already paid for two months ahead, Cloe and I joined forces in looking for great but affordable accommodations through the net. We also came up with our DIY itinerary of the places we wanna see and the days we’ve allotted for shopping and spa treatment. Hello, what is Bangkok without such girly adventures? Hehehe.

Manila to BKK. It was already 1AM when we arrived at the airport. There were few people around so going through immigration was a breeze and there was thankfully a short queue in the cab terminal. We stayed at the Happy House in Pra Arthit for the first half of our trip and it’s located on the other side of the city. But our timing was perfect because there’s no traffic during dead hours. It’s a simple guest house (which reminds me a lot of Boracay’s Tans Guest House) but I love their friendly staff and the fact that there’s 7/11 a stone’s throw away from it. Cloe was sick with fever back then so it was a relief that there’s a store nearby in case we need anything.

DAY 1: It’s my birthday and greetings from my family and friends back home were flooding my

phone. It felt different not to be greeted in person but it’s my special day nonetheless so I was definitely in high spirits.

After grabbing a quick breakfast, we headed to Pra Arthit Pier along Chao Praya River for the boat express that would take us to Bangkok’s famous temples such as Wat Arun, Wat Pho and the Grand Palace. We also did a lot of sightseeing and more temple-hopping by renting out a Tuktuk! for the day. But what I enjoyed the most is the reclining Buddha in Wat Pho because I remember grabbing photos of it on the net for an ad campaign (Oodys Thai Restaurant) that our class did back in college. I love the intricate designs of the temples’ architecture. And I couldn’t help but admire the Thais’ pride of their rich culture and how they’ve managed to maintain their heritage through the years.

For lunch, we stopped by a small eatery where I ordered a “pork meal” which tasted like patatim and they served it with a star-shaped rice. O diba? And they didn’t even know it was my birthday! Hahaha. I honestly don’t know what that dish is because the staff there don’t speak in English. Good thing there was a Thai guy who volunteered to act as translator so Cloe and I still ended up eating a delicious meal.

Grand Palace was our last stop before we decided to go back to our hotel (via Tuktuk whose driver overcharged us) for siesta. Cloe badly needed it because of her fever. During which time I leisurely drink the best fresh mango shake I’ve ever tasted while checking my FB for more birthday greetings at the Happy House’s lounge. Our place is really nice during daytime because of its Boracay vibe with lots of foreigners sitting lazily at the open-air restaurants.

You can take a walk outside and stumble upon souvenir shops and authentic Thai massage parlors which offer good rates.

By night time, Cloe and I took the #53 bus to Chinatown where we checked out the best places to eat. I learned that when you go to BKK, it is a must to try their street food and to dine in their al fresco eateries. I swear that’s where you’d see a wide range of mouth-watering Thai dishes. Unfortunately, our choices were limited to those which also serve meat because I am allergic to seafood. So we decided to dine in Texas resto where I ate roasted duck with sweet sauce plus a variety of meat balls and veggies that we cooked ourselves. Super yummy, promise!

DAY 2: It was late in the morning when we left Happy House so we decided to just go to Platinum Mall for lunch. That’s where I fell in love with ice-cold milk tea all over again. It was only Nestle’s Thai milk tea but I swear it’s the yummiest ever! Coupled with the maple waffle that I also bought in the food court...HEAVEN is the only word that can describe how I feel while eating then. Hahaha. One thing about their food court though is that you have to buy a stored-value card in the cashier for you to present in the food stalls where you’d like to purchase your meal. Then the person manning the

food stall will just have to swipe the card and the cost of your meal will be automatically deducted to your card. I guess it’s their way of doing their inventory efficiently. I didn’t really ask about it though.

After that happy meal was heaven and chaos combined because we went straight to Pratunam market across Platinum mall to purchase wholesale goods. The trendy dresses that you’d see in Greenhills and other bazaars in Manila are all there for a much cheaper price. I swear, if I happen to bring all my raket money with me that time, I would have nothing left for Christmas shopping! Then my friend shopped some more back in Platinum mall before we went back to our hotel and ate at a nearby eatery frequented by a lot of foreigners. I ordered noodle soup with chicken and freshly-squeezed orange juice this time.

It was a tiring day. Did I mention that we got lost on our way back to Happy House? We did and that meant more walking for us. So we capped our night off with a heavenly massage at the spa right across Happy House. We availed the body scrub, body wrap and whole body massage package for only 680 baht! It was quite an experience maybe because my friend and our respective masseuses were laughing at a lot of trivial stuff about our vacation.

DAY 3: We weresupposed to go to Damnoen Sanduak floating market but we ended up in Chatuchak weekend market instead because of some stupid miscommunication. It was only 9AM when we arrived Chatuchak and some of the shops weren’t open yet. So we went by bus to Platinum Mall and we found out that they sell more items on a Sunday. I bought some nice outfits and a pair of comfy wedges.

We went back to our favorite eatery near Happy House for lunch, checked out the guest house and

returned to Chatuchak with our luggages in tow! We had no choice since our second hotel was in the suburbs and it’s more convenient if we stop by Chatuchak before going there. Chatuchak was “alive” by then. I got to see how an authentic ice-cold milk tea is made by a man who did some awesome moves while transferring the milk tea from one container to another. I also chanced upon a vendor who sells imported make-up products including my favorite Etude House BB cream! There were lots of good finds in Chatuchak and yummy streetfood as well.

Going to Bansabai Hotel was unforgettable for us mainly because it’s unexpectedly far from the city and is only accessible by cab or if you have a car. It’s located in a quiet residential area far off Lat Phrao and most taxi drivers are not familiar with it. Good thing I’ve become SORT OF an expert when it comes to map reading so I try to help our cab driver find his way to Bansabai.

Luckily, Bansabai Hotel proved to be the perfect place for R&R (rest and relaxation). Cloe and I have everything we need in our hotel room. And we even took a night swim before turning in for the night. Cloe kept laughing at me because I was really scared to take a dip in the pool because it gave me the creeps for some reason. It was only when we were back here in Manila when she finally told me that she was kinda scared too of Bansabai’s roof deck during nighttime.

DAY 4: Our last day in Bangkok and we spent it in Ayutthaya where we got to see the ancient city of a Siamese kingdom back in the 1300 to 1700. The travel time was long but worth it because the ruins in Wat Maha That and Wat Phra Si Samphet were really picture-perfect.

Back to the city, the shuttle dropped us off at Victory Monument. I was looking for a grocery so I can buy Nestle’s Thai milk tea but there was none in the area. That was a bit frustrating but we checked out a nearby mall instead where Cloe bought more items for her paninda back home. After which we took the MRT, BTS and another difficult cab drive back to our hotel. We lounged by the pool again together with some Koreans so it wasn’t so scary like last time. Then we ate Hainanese chicken for dinner at a nearby eatery. Then off we go to Suvarnabhumi airport.

It was as if we were there in BKK for weeks instead of days. I really had fun getting familiar with the shopping malls, the restos and even the out of the way places that we’ve been to. I appreciated the fact that we didn’t get tourist packages because it was quite an experience being lost and still be able to find your way to your planned (and sometimes unplanned) destination.

in my dreams

Tonight...
I'll see you in my dreams
You'll come to me and say hello
You won't leave without saying goodbye.

Just like old friends
You'll ask me how I am
We'd talk about old memories
And how you've missed me constantly.

So many times
You wanna hold my hand
Only your heart hears you
Crying rivers of tears.

It broke my heart
Seeing us together
Fighting through our fates
That tore us apart.

We look into each others eyes
Trying to understand
Overwhelmed by what's between us
Yet trapped by our own circumstance.

How could we run away before
And let each other go?
When it's plain to see
Only you are meant for me.

I silently wish you'd stay
As you hug me so tight
God I can't let go
But it's too late I know...

Always and Forever

Can't you give me a reason
To hope and to believe
That one day you'll be here?

No, I don't think so.
I tell myself
"Not anymore."

Let me have one last look
At the face
I've been dreaming of...

Nothing really special
Except an ordinary someone whom
I've loved, love and loved again.